Blowout For Dinner?

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blowout for dinner

My husband and I were in that newborn-first-child-we-can-still-do-everything-we-did-BEFORE-we had-a-baby-phase.  We were young and naive.  Well, I was young.  He was just naive.  {LOVE YOU BABE!}  So of course we decided to go to dinner.  Easy as a blowout pie, right?

We ordered some appetizers, chips, and salsa for him, green bean fries with dipping sauce for me.  Our son was sleeping in the car seat and I truly wondered how people could get so riled up about bringing a baby out to dinner.  It was so easy!

We had drinks.

We talked, we laughed.

This whole newborn thing was awesome.

Then, our dinner came and our son woke up.  I held him as we ate our dinner.  Sure, it was a little cumbersome, but for the most part, I was able to eat, drink and be merry as I held my bundle of joy.

As we were eating I noticed that some of my dipping sauce had gotten onto my hands and fingers.  I tried to wipe them off, but because I was holding the baby it was a little difficult so I licked my fingers as best I could.  I didn’t think about it at all.

I didn’t think.

About it.

At.

ALL.

And then I noticed that my son had dipping sauce on his legs.  In fact, there was dipping sauce coming out of his diaper!

No. No. No. No. No. NO!

That wasn’t dipping sauce, that was a major blowout.  I had just licked a blowout, I had licked poop off of my fingers!

AND I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE!!!

I ran myself and my son into the bathroom to change him.  Only to find out that the cool, hip, fancy restaurant we went to didn’t have changing tables.  On top of that, I couldn’t figure out how to hold him AND wash myself.

This was becoming the biggest nightmare of my life.

As luck would have it, a seasoned mother was watching my every mishap move.  She kindly asked if she could hold my baby as I washed and dried my hands.  Then she helped me get my diaper bag in order.  I thanked her in my blubbering mess of a voice.

That is when I understood why parents bemoaned taking their children to dinner.  Why parenting was so hard.  I understood.  I GOT IT UNIVERSE, THANKS FOR THE LESSON IN PRIDE!

To say that incident was the lowest point in my parenting would be a lie.  Yes, things have gotten way worse.  Is that even possible you may ask?  The answer is yes.  However, as my mother would always say – if it doesn’t kill you it usually makes for a really good story.

blowout for dinner

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A native of Iowa, Maria moved to Los Angeles ten years ago. It's there that she met and married her husband, Brian. Maria has 2 boys who make her world go round and round and round and round... She also is a co-host on a hilarious podcast - They See Me Mommin'. When she isn't doing all things "mom" Maria enjoys reading, writing, baking, eating and LAUGHING!