I’m Tired Of Feeling Guilty

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tired of feeling guilty

I read an article the other day about a little girl who kept getting out of bed even though her mother had put her down about six times.  Then, after the fiftieth call out {Okay that’s exaggerating, but you get the picture} the mother goes upstairs to find a note that her daughter had written.  It says something about how she had needed her, but her mother didn’t come.

I then read another article about a little boy who told his daddy that he stopped asking mommy the grump to do something because she always said no.  I believe it was about more and more cuddles at night.

Now, here’s the thing – I love my kids and I don’t want them to feel like I’m not there for them, BUT I need to get stuff done!

I need to be without them for five minutes of my life.  I need to SHOWER!  My lovely, wonderful, absolutely adorable children get up FOR THE DAY at 5:30am.  That’s right.  So if I want to have ANY time without them I have to get up before that OR make them go to bed when I say so!

Which is probably why the above-mentioned articles really make me feel guilty.

And I don’t think I can handle anymore mommy guilt.  I. Just. Can’t. Do. It.

At some point when I tell my child, it’s time for bed and we do the bedtime routine and I listen to him cry out again for water and hugs and kisses, at some point, he NEEDS to go to bed.  I’m sure he feels like he needs me and I’m not there, but really what are we teaching our children if we never allow our word to mean anything?

I was {and still am} a very dramatic person – I told my mother I hated her once.  Was it because she was a bad mom?  Was it because she had failed as a mother?  NO!  It was because I was being a brat and she didn’t let me get my way.  That’s why I told her I hated her.  I was six, and a child.  I shouldn’t have gotten my way, and I shouldn’t have said that I hated her.

I wish our lives could be cuddles and hugs and beach days and lollipops – but that’s not reality.

I would give anything for my child to never get hurt or feel slighted, but that’s also not reality.  I would be doing my children a disservice if I didn’t prepare them for life.

I’m not saying that I’m going to straight up disappoint them just to disappoint them.  I’m not a monster.

But I also am not going to feel like I’m a terrible mother because I didn’t cuddle my son for the billionth time.  I do cuddle him.  We do have a bedtime routine.  There are lots of hugs and kisses during our days together.  Do I wish there were more, of course!  Do I still have to do laundry and cook, yes!  So there has to be a balance.

And so I will not let myself feel guilty for not succumbing to every single demand my children have.  Even if it means they feel like I wasn’t there when they needed me.  Because I know I am there when it matters.

I know I’m there when it counts.  And I’m always available when called upon.  But at some point –

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND EVERYTHING HOLY THEY NEED TO GO TO BED!

I'm tired of feeling guilty

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A native of Iowa, Maria moved to Los Angeles ten years ago. It's there that she met and married her husband, Brian. Maria has 2 boys who make her world go round and round and round and round... She also is a co-host on a hilarious podcast - They See Me Mommin'. When she isn't doing all things "mom" Maria enjoys reading, writing, baking, eating and LAUGHING!

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