This week I hit the breaking point. It’s day 59,285,174,820 of this pandemic and today was the day it felt I could take no more. I can no longer do more with less.
Maybe you relate.
Maybe it was in May when your glimmer of hope the U.S. was going to pull out of this crisis was truncated by a civil rights movement met by painful and divisive politics, coupled with devastating job loss and economic turmoil.
Maybe your D-Day was in June when you realized your kid wasn’t getting the graduation ceremony he or she deserved or when your summer vacation had to be cancelled. Maybe it was in July when our state reversed course and ordered businesses to lock down again.
For me, I kept trucking.
Ever the realist, I knew this was a marathon and I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Changing from my night time pajamas to my day time pajamas every morning. Living in a time loop with no end in sight but hope nonetheless.
But this week, it hit me like a truck.
The anxiety caught up to me and, in what felt like a revelation, was the realization that something has got to give. I can not keep adding more to my list of responsibilities with less time to do it in, less financial resources, less help, less healthy coping mechanisms. I can’t keep wading in uncharted waters alone with no paddle and a broken compass.
I can no longer do more with less.
I keep hearing the phrase, “We’re in this together.” But I can’t help but think that American individualism is preventing us from really pulling together and getting something, anything, done.
It’s the same cultural phenomenon that has always led mothers to feel we can’t ask for help when we need it, that we can’t speak up when something is wrong, and that we must suffer in silence when we’re drowning in unmet expectations.
Instead of coming together as a collective, we compare and compete, leading us all to despair.
Nations that seem to be getting this right are the nations pulling together resources, looking out for each other instead of only looking out for themselves. Perhaps it’s time to put American individualism aside, at least for this crisis, take care of our most vulnerable, and start to see the shift in course we’re all dying to see happen.
I don’t have all the answers.
Heck, I probably don’t even have one of the right answers. But, I do know I just can’t keep trying to do more with less.
Something has got to give.
So maybe, it will feel like I have a little more if I just get a little help. Or take a little break. Because right now, I feel like giving up and squandering all the hard work. I’m sure you might feel like doing the same.
But we can do it together. We just need a little break. And a little help.
