I’m Old – And These Are The 6 Reasons Why.

Have you ever seen the show How I Met Your Mother?  If not, you need to finish reading this post and then Netflix it – because it’s amazing.  In one particular episode of the show the gang decides that they are just too old for certain activities, behaviors, and types of dress.  I have also compiled a list of my very own “too old for this.”  And this list verifies that I am, in fact, old.

1. I can’t wear heels. – Yes, you read that correctly.  It’s not that I don’t love high heels.  And it’s not that I don’t actually have a closet full of high heels.  It’s that my feet actually hate wearing them and refuse to do so.  We’ve had a lot of talks and if I want to keep walking flats are they only way my feet will take me anywhere.  I’ve tried to persuade them otherwise, but their arguments are pretty good.
   1. I don’t have anywhere to go that would require heels.
   2. I’ve forgotten how to walk in them.
   3. Sweatpants and heels are apparently a fashion faux pas.
2. If I stay out past 10:00pm I feel like I’m going to die. – I know this has something to do with the little kids that wake me at 5:30am every. single. day.  However, even if they do sleep until 6:30, I just can’t muster going out anymore.  Being home and snug in my bed by 9:00 is the legit best.  Especially if I have some Netflix to catch up on.  Please tell me I’m not alone?
3. I just don’t understand the appeal of Justin Bieber. – I guess this is how my mother felt when I was obsessed with Devon Sawa or Jonathan Taylor Thomas.  But even still, I think they were way more likeable than the Biebs.  I have a cousin who is in love with the Biebs and it almost pains me to see her post on and on about how he has changed her life.  I mean yes, some of his tunes can be catchy – NOT that I would know, but changed your life?  No, I hope the Biebs is not actually transforming people.
4. I live for Brunch. – Can I get an AMEN?! How did I go so so so many years without knowing how amazing brunch is?  It’s actually quite depressing that I missed out on brunch for so much of my life.   And there’s always mimos!  It’s a late breakfast with your closest friends that includes lunch and booze.  Yes please, may I have another?!  However, I do realize that my love of brunch makes me old.  The thing is you don’t see super young people going to brunch.  Why are they not enjoying the most amazing thing on Earth?  Well – they are sleeping.  They don’t need a reason to drink at 10am as they most likely were drinking until 5am.  They have yet to appreciate the bottomless Mimosa.
5. I remember when gas was 89 cents. – I do.  So now you know how old I truly am.  The funny part about my ridiculous memory is that every single time I put gas in my car I think about how I used to be able to scrounge around my car for a few quarters and put in half a tank.  I also paid inside the gas station.  Yes, there was one point in time when you physically had to go INTO the gas station.
6. Underwire, what’s underwire? – I haven’t worn underwire in my bra in, well it has to be years.  I don’t even recall the last time I wore a bra with underwire in it.  I distinctly remember bra shopping with my mother and she always steered clear of the section of bras with underwire in them, much preferring the ones without.  I thought that was so weird.  I loved my underwire bras and couldn’t imagine not wearing a bra without it!  Now, I get it, because I’m old.  Underwire is the worst.  I’m never going back.