How I’m Empowering My Daughter in a Selfish World


how i'm empowering my daughter in a selfish world

It’s hot. The windows are down, music is rocking and I’ve got my daughter in the car asking me to play a few pop songs on repeat until she can learn all of the words. I absolutely love pop, but hardly ever do I know the words. I saw a meme once that talked about Eminem singing all about spaghetti. Pretty accurate.

As I sat there and heard my daughter sing her fight song, I realized that I really need to be more careful of what I’m instilling in her for the future.

Lately, all I read about is self-empowerment and how we can be tough, strong and independent women. I hear stories, read articles, overhear conversations about not needing anyone else, and doing it all on our own.

I get that it’s great to have a strong backbone, but at what point does it become too much? When does empowerment become the focus and we lose sight of others? When is it truly better to be a complete and utter —- to get things done?

I’m not talking about rolling over and playing dead never to be considered again, but I am referencing putting others first. I feel my best when I’m not thinking about me, and I’m helping someone else.

Every day I’m faced with this dilemma of how to empower my daughter.

Have you ever met a three-year-old? They are about as self-centered as they come.

Rightfully so, children are designed with self-protection in mind, but nonetheless, they make decisions all day long that are absolutely terrible for them.

Said daughter will decide that she can’t eat broccoli, MUST watch Elsa or she can’t live, won’t share her toys because they’re hers, or worse, can’t bathe because she put on lip gloss.

I spend most of my play dates trying to teach her to consider other alternatives and perspectives. I apologize to my mom friends when she is being difficult. I re-direct if my child would argue for a toy. Counting to five before taking a turn is the norm. It’s a constant battle to keep her from imploding into a heaping, hysterical, cracker-covered mess every play time.

At the end of the day, all I’m trying to do is teach her how to be a better friend, or how to delicately encounter difficult situations, think of others, and respect differences. Not at any time am I re-iterating that my child should face this life alone.

I don’t want that for her. When she’s grown and gone, I want her to respectfully assert herself, but help others to assert themselves too. I want her to consider how others might think of situations.

It’s important to serve people, love others and build a sense of community. Never once do I want her to step on toes or build her career without considering others. I think that the best way to empower her is to be kind and considerate while rising to the occasion. I hope that is her chosen anthem.

“Being considerate of others will take you and your children further in life than any college or professional degree.” — Marian Wright Edelman

empowering my daughter

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Heather Moulden loves all things Orange County. Heather met her husband of 10+ years at Canyon High School and graduated from Cal State Fullerton with a B.A. degree in Communications. These days Heather juggles being a Realtor® in North OC, and keeping the family bonds tight. She has two wonderful, school-aged children who fill her days full of joy. She is active in the community, at church and makes her friendships a priority. (Because as we mamas know, friendships are important!) Some of Heather’s favorite things include staying active in the gym, finding new ways to cook healthy food and keeping up with current home design trends. Heather is happy to be a contributor to Anaheim Mom’s Blog because she has also been passionate about writing since she was five, where she used to create fake magazines with high fashion and intriguing articles.