If You Don’t Tell Them Who Will?

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If You Don't Tell Them Who Will?Before I had children someone told me that parenting was the hardest job in the world.  I remember thinking, really?  I mean aren’t there really difficult jobs like being a surgeon or figuring out how to solve our eco-crisis?

And then I had children and while I don’t think that it mitigates the difficulties that come with being a surgeon or solving our eco-crisis, I do believe it is one of the most difficult jobs in the world.

Because, as a parent, we are in charge – like completely and utterly in charge of another human being and every move we make will mold this human being.  Whether we like it or not everything we do will shape their memories, their feelings, their thoughts, their ability to love someone else, their inability to show emotion and on and on and on.

Heavy, right?

Which brings me to the topic at hand – if we don’t tell them, who will?

If I don’t talk to my boys about respecting women, who will?

If I don’t talk to them about drugs, who will?

If I don’t talk to them about sex, who will?

If I don’t talk to them about body image, who will?

If I don’t talk to them about expressing emotions, who will?

If I don’t talk to them about human rights, recycling, disappointment, shame, etc., who will?

WHO WILL?!

The thing is – a lot of other people will.  It may not be directly, it may be more indirectly, but they’ll see and hear the messages all the same.  And if my children don’t have the foundation, the base, to bounce all of the messages off of – what are they going to believe?

It’s a lot to digest, isn’t it?

But the thing is, it doesn’t have to be scary.  For me, I find that having small conversations lead to other conversations and it makes having a potentially awkward conversation not so awkward.  My kids are used to simply talking about life.

We talk about their bodies.  We talk about my body and how it’s different.  We talk ad nauseam about respect and inclusion.

I know for a fact that the things we hear in our childhood matter.  The things we see in our childhood matter – we take those things with us through our entire lives.

So, if I can talk to my children – I’m going to.  I’m going to tell them these things because it is my job.  It is truly one of the hardest jobs in the world – but it’s one that I wanted.