Oh The Messes I Have Known


Messes.  Clean up.  Messes.  More messes.  More clean up.  Only to then see more messes.

Can anyone else relate? 

While talking to my mother the other day about how I was attempting to clean up the house only to be followed around by a tiny tornado of a two-year-old, she reminisced about a book she was planning to write when my brother and I were younger.  It was going to be titled, The Messes I Have Known.  

Of course, having small children who then grew into larger teenagers with insane schedules and her job becoming more demanding she didn’t have time to write the actual book.  So I told her I’d write a little blog post to maybe help spur her along.

The following are messes that moms have come across while raising tiny humans.

When my son was around four-years-old he ate an entire bottle of vitamin C chewables.  He woke up in the middle of the night and had diarrhea all over the toilet/seat and went back to bed.  I got up to go to the bathroom a few hours later and didn’t turn on the light.  I ended up sitting in his mess.   

That was a mess I could have gone without knowing!

When my son was about a year old I was really into making homemade mayo.  I would eat it with homemade sweet potato fries, which my son LOVED.  I felt like it was a perfect meal for him with all the healthy fats and super nutrient dense sweet potatoes.  The only problem was that on one particular day I left the vat of mayo too close to him and he decided to smear it over his entire body and hair.  As well was the walls and managed to drop it on the floor. 

Such. A. Mess!

My daughter was pretty prone to being carsick for the first few years of her life.  On one particular occasion, she puked so fiercely in the car that when I took the car seat out to wash it, vomit dripped from every crevice.  I will never forget the smell of thrown-up milk or how it curdles for the rest of my life.

When my son was around three or four he was playing outside.  I could see him running through the neighbor’s yard touching all of her sheets as they hung on the line to dry.  As he got closer to the house I noticed that his hands and arms, even his shirt were covered in what appeared to be mud.  I went outside to access the damage.  My son ran up to me and said, “That brown mushroom sure did stink!” 

Only it wasn’t a brown mushroom.  It was dog poop.  He had rubbed dog poop all over his body.  AND all over the neighbor’s freshly washed sheets.

After washing my neighbor’s sheets and cleaning up my son my neighbor asked me if my son was deranged.  I hesitated before telling her no, because well, was he?

What are some of the messes that you’ve had to clean up?!