Creating a Healthy Body: it Will Happen When it Happens…. Stop Judging!

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creating a healthy body

I’m working on getting healthier physically. 

My intention is to be healthier body weight, increase my activity, improve posture, energy, and sleep.  In other words, do everything I can to be my healthiest me. As someone who is a mental health professional and has also received counseling, it has been easier for me to work on my mental health than physical health.  I am ready for my outsides to match my insides as I’m pretty proud of the inside, so to speak.

So if you are my one blog stalker (I know you are out there), you read my post The Wrong Question to Ask Me About My Weight Loss about losing weight after baby number one.  If you didn’t read it… well you can because there is an easy to use link in the sentence above… but the important part for this post is that weight loss experience was easier.

Fast forward to baby number two. 

I started that pregnancy 20 pounds less than pregnancy number one, however, I caught up very quickly.  This time I only left the hospital ten pounds thinner than when the baby was inside and now 21 months later I haven’t done much about it.

Here comes the important part

I have not ONCE judged myself about where I am at post baby number two.  WAIT! Don’t stop reading, I know some of you are thinking “well aren’t you special”. I’m not, I promise. I have just done A LOT of work to have a healthy mindset and stop judging myself so much.  

I don’t do it perfectly but, I do it better than before. 

Also, I can teach you how. 

First, it will happen when it happens.  But it doesn’t happen without action.  The action can be baby steps like starting with being kind to yourself, no pressure just kind motivation.  Now, this doesn’t mean you can sit on the couch eating Doritos and magically have 2% body fat with the endurance of a marathoner because you simply believed in yourself. 

It means you have to be ready and in the right mindset.  When you try and force it when you feel deprived you stumble and then beat yourself up.

News flash – beating yourself up mentally is exhausting and you will get less done and feel worse.

How I don’t judge myself. 

First I changed all my “shoulds” to “coulds”.  I took the pressure off, no more absolutes.  I started to track the negative things I said to myself, in this case, specifically about my appearance.  I replaced them with positive affirmations.  I said things like “I now have the energy I need for all activities in my life” “I’m getting healthier every day in every way.” etc and etc.  They got more specific as time went on and I started to feel the shift and believe it was true and possible.  I also got professional help.  I saw a therapist that taught me in more detail and specifics what I am telling you.  

I realized my words had power over how I felt but that I could have full control over my words. 

So I started to exercise my mind and after a lot of practice, my mind tends to go positive more than negative.  This greatly reduced the judging.  I used my power to control my thinking and steer it in a positive direction which made me feel good.

In the beginning, when I heard a judgmental thought in my head I would even say “No” out loud and then tell myself something nicer.  

This time around it was a lot easier and I knew without the added exhaustion of all that judging, I would at some point be ready and motivated and that time is now.  I’m making changes.  I want to have a healthier lifestyle and create a habit before my kids are old enough to remember living any other way.  

I’m confident over the next few months to a year I’m getting healthier.  

“Weight loss” “fat” “exercise” “body image” These words and topics can often be triggering for women, especially moms because our bodies change after birthing a baby.  I’m guessing adoptive mom’s bodies change as well because routines change, sleep changes, thoughts, and priorities change.  

I refuse to feel bad about where my body and physical health is at.

It might not be where I want it to be, but that is why I’m making changes.  It may not be easy and there may be challenges along the way but I know I can do it. 

Why?

Well, I know because I have power over my mindset and my choices and you can too. 

Use your power for positivity and self-care ladies, you deserve it!

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I grew up in Orange County then went to Los Angeles (with a short detour in Santa Barbara) for college and spent the next 12 years there thinking that was home until I met my amazing, now husband on Jdate.com and moved back here to start our life together. I have a young son and daughter that are two years apart. They are thick as thieves and keep us laughing. I worked in Hospice care for 15 years and now I take Working Mom to a whole new dimension with a private mental health practice www.melissafishergoldman.com. I worked hard with many jobs hustling for many years to grow my own business. I'm proud to say I'm helping people in my own office full time. The decision to quit my full time job working for some one else and to work towards creating much needed grief, trauma and self esteem support in Orange County fills my soul. I may not spend 24/7 with my kids but I plan to be role model to them and the time we have is all about quality not quantity. I'm working on a life/work balance but I find this is much easier when I love all aspects of my life and work and self.

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