Okay. Let me be very clear. This has been building for a while. As in, almost 3 years. Where do I begin?
You attend a birthday party or your kid(s) receive a favor bag from peers at school for a classmate’s birthday or seasonal celebration. Fine. LOVE IT. In theory….
I feel I need to preface this by saying that I understand parenting is hard.
So stinking hard at times. And speaking of time…. Time, well, there’s never enough of it. That being said, I understand that there may be a bit of I-just-grabbed-the-only-thing-that-matched-the-party-theme-super-mega-plus-party-favor-pack at the party store. I get it.
Also, these things needn’t be fancy. And definitely not expensive.
Let’s get real here: my kid(s) are likely going to lose, break, or forget about the items within a day…quite possibly before they even arrive home from wherever they received the goods. These are not the things that drive me absolutely bonkers.
What in good graces were you thinking?! Here are the two biggest party favor fails.
SMH. This is a biggie. I, again, understand (especially if the party is hosting a variety of age groups) this may be tricky. However, if it’s for your 2-year-old’s Spring/Easter celebration at preschool, you may want to reconsider putting rolls of Hubba Bubba chewing gum, Fun Dips, Big League Chew, and Pixy Stix in the favor bag. Juuuuust sayin’.
Don’t get me wrong! These are solid, totally delicious candies that I may or may not have excessively binged on as a child…like, as a 7, 8, 9-year-old child. (Okay, fine! Yesterday….)
But I digress. Bubble gum is not for a 2 or 3-year-old. Again, just sayin’. Keep it age appropriate people.
Do the items pass the annoyance test?
What is this annoyance test, you ask?! Simply put, would you want to punch a parent in the throat for placing that item into your child’s bag to bring into your car and then your house…to haunt you…foreverrrr?
No?! Then drop that bad boy on in there!
Yes??? (Or are on the fence) Then please do the right thing and don’t do it! Don’t give a party favor fail.
Need some examples?
Whistles. OMFG! Whistles!!! And anything else that makes an irritating sound. I revert to the annoyance test. If you wouldn’t want to listen to your child make some sort of noise with a toy the entire ride home, only to be continued once you arrive home, refrain from giving it to someone else’s child. Pleeeeeease.
What to do about it?
Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been taking notes. I’ll remember you gave my toddler a bag full of legalized kid crack (Pixy Stix/Fun Dips) that I didn’t know was hiding in the bag, and was therefore consumed without permission in the third row seat of my van and, like a fiend, my child emerges a rabid, feral-like child that will be on this high for an unknown number of hours only to come crashing down in epic torrents of raging meltdowns.
Yeah. You. I remember you. Come your kid’s birthday…I’ll gift wrap a 40 of Monster and a pack of Red Bull. You’re welcome. Or, were you the parent that decided to put Lifeguard-grade whistles into my kids’ favor bags? Yep. I remember you too! Your kid’ll get a legit drumset from us. Oh yeah. Just you watch….
In all seriousness though, I love that parents take the time to make the kids’ experience awesome. Please, just ask yourself before you put it in the bag: Is is age appropriate and does it pass the annoyance test?