Yelling is the NEW Spanking


How often do you find yourself YELLING at your kids?

Are you asking your kids to do something more than four or five times before you lose it and start your yelling? Are you yelling during dinner time, bedtime, or when rushing out the door?

yellingWe stopped spanking because of the trauma it causes a child. We learned that spanking is bad for your child’s health. The more you spank your children, the more likely they are to defy you,and develop issues including anti- social behavior, and cognitive difficulties.

So, what are parents doing instead?

They are yelling at their kids and making them feel really bad. In fact, researchers from The University of Pittsburgh found that “harsh verbal discipline”—cursing, insults, and shouting—can be as harmful to kids as hitting or spanking.

But what’s wrong with yelling, exactly?  

Yelling at your kids can be just as bad as corporal punishment and could cause behavior problems and emotional development issues. You yell because you think that, in the moment, it is the best way to make your point and teach your child a lesson. However, when a toddler with an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex gets yelled at, the opposite is true. As a reaction to the yelling, the toddler’s brain releases biochemicals that make the child fight, flight or freeze. They may hit you. They may run away. Or they freeze and look like a deer in headlights. None of those are good for brain formation, and if that action happens repeatedly, the behavior becomes ingrained.

Sure, when you yell at your child it will get their attention, and it might stop the misbehavior at that moment, but yelling (like spanking) does not teach your child how to correct the behavior.

So, what helps your child’s misbehaviors?

Try the C.P.R. philosophy. This parenting philosophy has been developed over 23 years by Terry
Manrique, author of Revive Your Parenting, C.P.R. for Parents, A Philosophy based on
Compassion, Patience, and Respect.

1. Approach your child with compassion regarding the current situation and try to understand their frustration.

2. Be patient through their moment and allow ALL the time they need to let it all out. However, if your child is being harmful restrain them until they understand you will let go when they stop hitting you or themselves.

3. Give them the respect needed to help them during these moments. Don’t rush the
process because you have other things to do and you don’t have time for them to work
it out. Of course, think things through first, and practice this method only when you do have the time
to help change the behavior over a course of 3 consecutive days. Consistency is important, and
breaking bad habits takes time.

Revive Your Parenting

You can learn positive ways to address your child’s behaviors without spanking or yelling if you apply the C.P.R. philosophy. In fact, if you do get upset enough, you will learn that all you need is a stern and assertive voice to get your message across. To learn more and better understand this method, read Revive Your Parenting, C.P.R. for Parents, A Philosophy based on Compassion, Patience, and Respect. You’ll never want to go back to old habits again.

Terry Manrique is an Expert Parent & Relationship Coach with 20+ years of experience in the field of Early Childhood Education. After working 17 years as a teacher and Program Director at a private, art integrated early childhood education center, she decided to start her business April 2011 coaching families in their homes. As the successful owner of Working with Parents, LLC, Terry has helped countless families across the United States improve and transform their relationships using her C.P.R. for Parents philosophy, a variety of parenting methods and proven behavior management practices.
Terry is the author of Revive Your Parenting, C.P.R. for Parents, A Philosophy based on Compassion, Patience, and Respect. Her experience has allowed her to… provide parents with a crash course in Early Childhood Development, help parents better understand how their children think, and empowered them to be empathetic to what their child’s needs are. Understanding your child and knowing WHY they behave the way they do can eliminate the frustration many parents face.
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