My husband and I dated for three years before we got engaged. I remember how dating him was so much fun. I planned every weekend with something new to do. We went to the aquarium, museum, wine tasting and even afternoon tea (that was actually his planning). Right after we came back from our honeymoon, I was pregnant with our first child. The newlywed stage was taken over by my growing belly so it wasn’t easy to go out and “date,” plus our minds were focused on getting ready for a baby.
Then real life kicked in for us; work, first home, kids…
It hit me that working, taking care of the kids and maintaining a household overshadowed our marriage; the very thing that started our lives together. And remembering our wedding vows which included (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)…
So I vowed to date my husband again.
My quick proposal to him was to go out on a date once a month and we’ll take turns planning each date. This sounds very promising so I am looking forward to our date to celebrate Valentine’s Day.
I love my community of mommy friends who I can turn to for anything. Trina Anderson, a wife, mother of four children and a dear friend, recently spoke at one of her mom’s groups on dating her husband. Some highlights of what she advised:
- The more you do it, the more you do it! Sure it is hard to schedule the dates with all that is going on but knowing that you are focusing on your marriage, it can be easy.
- Be purposeful! Focus on each other and your love for one another.
- Share your story! Sharing her story allowed her to focus on the positive and the love for her spouse. Talking about it takes away the stigma that working on your marriage is a bad thing, which it is not.
Some may think this is too much work but it didn’t seem like work when we dated before getting married, so it shouldn’t be that hard. The only difference I see now is getting a babysitter and we have an awesome one. So I encourage you, mamas, to make time to date your husbands again like you did before marriage and kids. If you are already doing this, kudos to you and please comment below with any dating advice.