Two Views On Parenting

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Two views on parenting

I’m learning to accept the truth – my husband and I are going to always have two views on parenting.

Don’t get me wrong we are a united front and have the same values on parenting. Of course it helps that he stated early on, “you have way more knowledge in parenting and behavior modification due to your career so I’m going to learn from you and follow your lead” (mom for the win!).

What I’m referring to in my opening statement is that we VIEW parenting differently.

For a long time when my husband would be alone with our son, I would think “oh good now he will get it.” But it never seemed like he did.  He would spontaneously leave the house without stocking up the diaper bag and just deal with the consequences. Or he would find a friend to hang with or even better a grandparent to help.

Now 13 months into it, I realize he is never going to experience parenting the way I do.  He is never going to plan ahead like I do.

He is never going to obsess about how he could have prevented that skinned knee or handled the time out better. And the truth is, that is totally okay.

It’s okay because he loves our son as much as I do.  He cares as much as I do. And he wants what’s best for our son and for us as a family.  I also realize this is not unique, the more I talk to other moms about this, the more I realized most mom’s feel this way.

Maybe it’s the difference between males and females, or maybe it’s hormones? (I think I need to take a poll of same-sex couples and see what their experience is in this area) But it doesn’t really matter why it just is.

And I’m pledging to all of you right here right now that I am not going to get frustrated anymore.  I am going to accept our differences and focus on the positives or at least I’m going to try. I am blessed with an amazing husband, who is an amazing, hands-on dad.  For that, I am so grateful.  My son was a blessing I craved for quite a while before he was a reality.  He grew inside of me and then he fed from me. He looks like me.

No one is going to feel about him like I do.

No one is going to love him the same way I do.

No one is going to take care of him the way I do and that is OKAY.

I’m grateful that I have a daycare worker, family, friends, and a husband that I trust him with and who love him so much.  I have a village and for today I’m choosing to focus on that blessing.

Now if I can just get my husband to tell me when we are running low on milk!

Two Views On Parenting

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I grew up in Orange County then went to Los Angeles (with a short detour in Santa Barbara) for college and spent the next 12 years there thinking that was home until I met my amazing, now husband on Jdate.com and moved back here to start our life together. I have a young son and daughter that are two years apart. They are thick as thieves and keep us laughing. I worked in Hospice care for 15 years and now I take Working Mom to a whole new dimension with a private mental health practice www.melissafishergoldman.com. I worked hard with many jobs hustling for many years to grow my own business. I'm proud to say I'm helping people in my own office full time. The decision to quit my full time job working for some one else and to work towards creating much needed grief, trauma and self esteem support in Orange County fills my soul. I may not spend 24/7 with my kids but I plan to be role model to them and the time we have is all about quality not quantity. I'm working on a life/work balance but I find this is much easier when I love all aspects of my life and work and self.