The Value Of Earning Success From An Early Age

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The Value Of Earning Success From An Early Age

I still vividly remember the moment last year. it was late summer. He had just finished his karate class and sat in his booster seat looking sad. I asked him what was wrong. He replied by saying, “Mommy, I want a new belt!”

As he said these words, I remember my heart sinking and taking a moment to think of how I was going to respond. These were real emotions by my somewhat innocent four-year-old and we were in a scenario I had very little control over.

So it was a learning opportunity to teach him the value of earning success in martial arts.

I remember saying,

“If you want that next belt, you need to earn it. You need to practice, focus, and when it’s time, you’ll earn that belt.”

Fast forward almost 9 months later, he’s received two belts. I couldn’t be more proud.

Reflecting on that moment, it was so pivotal in both my son’s growth and my growth as a mother.

There are lots of moments like this in motherhood. They come unexpectedly, and it’s important as mothers to do our best at that moment. We have so many options for how to respond. I could have replied by saying:

1.) “Ok, I’ll talk to your Sensei. Don’t be sad!”

2.) “You don’t deserve it!”

3.) “You’re too young!”

The list of possible responses goes on and on….

Sometimes as mothers we rise to the occasion. And sometimes, we look back and think, “I could’ve responded better!” With this particular moment, I felt like I handled it as best as I could. I listened. I acknowledged. I helped identify a goal/vision, and I helped him visualize what he needed to do to get there.

He learned the path to his goal was about earning success.

That moment helped reinforce an important stance on how I want to raise my children. Agree or disagree – I am not fond of the Everyone Gets a Trophy mentality. Do I believe that everyone is talented in their own right? YES. And in that sport, realm, or playing field, they should receive a trophy.

But not everyone should receive a trophy in every sport, every realm, and every field.

I grew up with immigrant parents who instilled a very strong work ethic in their words and most importantly in their actions. It’s very important to me that I raise my children with a strong work ethic. I want my kids to find their passion, to identify their talents, and to give their best.

They need to be able to follow through and understand the process whether it be a science project, a new instrument, or a sport. That’s the value of earning success if whatever your goal of achievement is. There is nothing more satisfying than knowing you gave something your all and seeing the fruits of your labor. The priceless gift of satisfaction can only be earned and that’s something I want my kids to experience!

Tell us in the comments below, what is something you or your children have wanted to achieve and had to work hard to achieve it by earning success for themselves??

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Allison Melanio
Born and raised in Orange County from immigrant parents, Allison Melanio is an Xennial (mix of Gen X and Millennial) mom of three young children – Maddox (6), Macy (4) and Margaux (4 months). Her husband and two kids currently reside in Rancho Mission Viejo, CA. Allison’s background includes an Entertainment PR Internship at Nickelodeon in NYC, a Journalism degree from CSULB and 11 years doing corporate communications and events at Altec, a software company in Laguna Hills, CA. Allison ended 2019 by resigning from her position at Altec and now works part time at Canon Medical Systems, USA as a Multimedia Specialist so she can devote more time to her young children. A typical Monday to Friday week for Allison includes two to three work days, a day to take the kids to Pretend City, Disneyland or the Park and a day to volunteer in her son’s PreK class and then them to ballet and karate. Allison loves making lists, exploring new places, planning (vacations, parties, and events) and making the most out of every day!