The Bedtime Routine



See that baby up above?  

Yeah, he’s sleeping all peaceful and perfect.  

That’s not my baby.  

My baby hates bedtime.  

Which makes me hate our bedtime routine.  I think I hate bedtime more than any other part of the day.  It’s like the epic end to a three-part battle, but oh wait, there’s actually a fourth installment – SUCKER!

Now, to give you an idea of how bedtime has become the most hated part of my day, here is an example of what it looks like on any given night.

7:15 – bedtime routine begins.

7:25 – no one has paid any attention to my constant nagging about how it is bedtime.

7:35 – I figure since no one seems to care I’m going to finish watching the last bit of my program with the volume on 55 so I can hear above the screaming and crashing trucks.  Remind me to thank my brother for one of the loudest gifts my children have ever received.  I’ll get him back.  However, it’s impossible to finish even with the volume turned up.

7:45 – Okay, now it’s time to be serious about bed.

7:55 – I finally corral the kids into their room and basically beg my oldest to get his pajamas on and brush his teeth.  He finally agrees, but denies having to go to the bathroom.  Awesome.

8:05 – Everyone is finally ready for bed.  Since it’s not too late we still have time to read a book or two.  And let’s face it if we don’t I will feel mom guilt and I already feel that most days so I try not to add to it.

8:06 – My 4-year-old decides to read his own book.

8:26 – He’s finally done.

8:41 – I finish reading the book that he picked out for me and the one he “read” and a couple others that got slipped in.

8:45 – Kisses, prayers, hugs, and lights out!

8:46 – I go to the bathroom only to hear “MOMMY!”

8:47 – My 4-year-old yells that he HAS to tell me something.  I yell back JUST TELL ME!  He yells back, I NEED TO SEE YOUR EYES.  So much for resting in the restroom.

8:48 – He comes in to tell me something.  According to him he has forgotten but is pretty adamant he will remember it if I just give him a few more hugs.

8:49 – My 1-year-old has started screaming because he knows he is now alone in his room.  So now I get him out of bed and everyone is in my bed.

9:15 – after some mass chaos I finally make them both go to bed.

9:16 – They both start to cry.

9:25 – They finally fall asleep and now I have to decide if I also go to bed or attempt to watch the end of my program.

9:26 – zzzzzzz

And herein lies the reason as to why I never see the end of my programs.  Oh and also why I truly dread bedtime.

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A native of Iowa, Maria moved to Los Angeles ten years ago. It's there that she met and married her husband, Brian. Maria has 2 boys who make her world go round and round and round and round... She also is a co-host on a hilarious podcast - They See Me Mommin'. When she isn't doing all things "mom" Maria enjoys reading, writing, baking, eating and LAUGHING!