Scary Mommy comes to visit occasionally at our house. She doesn’t say mean things to the kids, but she yells and sometimes points her finger in your face.
This is the side of me that I never want my kids to remember, but it dawned on me the other day that my son is turning six and he will remember Scary Mommy. This month was special, Scary Mommy showed up once but other months, it could be up to four times a month. So I started to write down why I get so mad and short tempered.
The results: stress and resentment.
I’m a walking stress case. I take on too much and don’t realize it until after the matter. I work from home with the kids in the other room. I cringe when I hear the baby cry because I can’t tend to her just that moment. I let my pride take the best of me because I can do anything. I can work from home, cook dinner, do the laundry, take the kids on playdates, bathe the kids, handle our finances, handle the kids’ and dog’s medical stuff, etc.
That’s when it hit me; everything was for everyone except for myself. But I don’t have time for me in the equation of daily tasks.
So I get resentful and sometimes take it out on my husband.
Even though we both work, he gets to leave the house. We both deal with clients/customers and managers, but he gets to deal with work issues without a crying baby next door or a hungry kid asking for a snack every 30 minutes. He gets to come home from work with dinner on the table. But he does come home to Scary Mommy and crying/sad kids. This was not working well for us as a family. It’s not fair to any of us.
I realized I had to take care of myself before I can care for others. I realized Scary Mommy doesn’t visit if I am well balanced in health and fitness (mentally and physically).
So what did I do?
I joined an evening intense workout program for mommies. I started eating clean. Yes, I added another thing on my plate but it was a necessity. For the first time in a long time, I ran a mile without stopping. This is huge for me. My ego got boosted but in a totally different way. It was out of humility and not arrogance. This new me trickled down to my son who now wants to work out with me. He is watching how my husband and I take care of our bodies with exercise and healthy eating. On top of this, I’m spending more time with my Heavenly Father who is telling me to take care of the body he made (Psalms 139).
Yes, Scary Mommy still peeks in our house here and there but she doesn’t stay overnight anymore. I am working really hard and praying each day that I stay focused on the joy that I have been blessed with. I love my family so I need to take care of me so I can take care of them.
Does Scary Mommy show up in your house? How do you kick her out or prevent her from visiting?