This is the year we’re reclaiming ourselves – body, mind, and spirit.
Which means slowing down enough to take a few deep breaths and getting curious about the ways we’ve been living our lives.
In a 2024 study by Beike Biotechnology they found that the average stay at home parent spends 19.9 hours cleaning per month, 23.7 hours cooking, 16.8 hours transporting children, and 22.9 hours planning, scheduling, arranging activities or doing other household administration tasks. They looked at how much it would cost per hour to outsource those tasks and were able to put a financial value to the work that a stay-at-home parent is doing.
Are you ready for this?
Over the course of the 20 years spent raising a child it would cost $1 million to outsource that work. The study centered on 10 cities where stay-at-home parents were considered the most ‘valuable’ and one of those cities is actually our friend Los Angeles. In our neighboring community alone, the work listed above would be paid out at around $4,250 a month.
Not that we need a study to affirm what we already know, but it’s clear that stay-at-home parents work a full-time job with little room for breaks, sick days, paid leave, etc. It also means that work-from-home parents juggle that full-time job alongside a second one and working parents leave one job to come home to another. We love raising our kids and yet we do not live in a societal structure that makes it easy or even truly sustainable.
Stay-at-home parents are worth that $1 million.
They certainly aren’t paid for it. So as a single work-from-home mom, I’m going to share with you a few things I’ve learned over my 20 years of parenting (yes, my oldest turns 20 this year and I’m not a millionaire).
These aren’t practices that have made everything flawless, perfect, or created a Disney princess life. They’re just some morning rituals I try to regularly make space for so that I can keep myself grounded, clear, and ready for my long days of work and parenting.
Stay Fluid.
Sometimes I need to sleep as much as I can. Sleep deprivation or low sleep quality decreases our ability to make it through the day with our nervous systems intact. So if I’m not sleeping well or if I’m feeling extra exhausted, I adjust what I can so that I can sleep til the last possible moment. But other times, what I need is to be alone in the morning and the only way to do that is to set an earlier alarm. Over time, I’ve learned to read the cues from my body and my mind, making it a little easier to give myself what I need. We’re not static creatures. We don’t do everything the exact same way every day, so setting rigid expectations for ourselves is only a recipe for disaster. Staying fluid with your schedule is one small act of mercy you can give to yourself, and it makes a big difference.
Hydrate.
There are some claims that up to 75% of Americans are dehydrated. This. Is. Not. Working. For. Us. Proper hydration can improve mental function, mood, energy, and more. If you struggle with low mood and energy – or if you often just feel kind of icky – start hydrating first thing in the morning and keep it going throughout the day. I start my day with a mug of warm water and lemon to prep my digestive system and to make it a little easier to launch into the day. From there I fill and drain my Simple Modern tumbler at least twice throughout the day. Some days are easier than others, but we’re staying fluid, remember? We’re not shaming ourselves for the days we don’t hit the mark.
Stimulate your mind.
When I was a young mom, I quickly realized I felt kind of trapped by the repetition of cleaning the house, grocery shopping, park dates, bathing the kids, making dinner, bedtime, etc. It was this endless loop that I both loved and resented. I was so busy with life that I couldn’t quite remember who I was before I had kids. That loss of Self the reason I started working from home. I needed something that was for me as a person, not just me as a mom.
And then, early in the years of being a single mom, I lived out a crash course in balancing my new life. I had to figure out how to vacillate between the weekdays I had the kids and the weekends I didn’t. I had to work while holding the stress and grief of a divorce. And one thing that kept showing up for me was the realization that my mind needed a place to go. Finding a way to grow and change and learn during those years helped me settle into a new exploration of myself.
Granted, I’ve always been a bookworm but during that time I went in head first. I read, I listened to podcasts, and I started an Audible subscription. I dove into the hungriest part of myself and it truly helped me navigate one of the most painful, overwhelming seasons of my life. Nine years later and I haven’t stopped. It is one of my most valuable practices.
If you can, maybe don’t scroll first thing in the morning. Instead, maybe make your coffee or tea, and sit down with a book of poetry or a novel or book that teaches you something new. Give it 10 minutes if that’s all you have, but give it something. Your mind is the most powerful part of your being and it deserves to be given priority.
Touch the ground.
Did you know that gardening helps you feel better? It’s because of a bacteria in the soil that releases serotonin in our bodies. Just putting our hands into the dirt or sitting in the yard can change our mood.
Try this: if you’re at a park with your kids, bring a blanket and lay in the grass. If the kids are down for a nap, go sit in the backyard with your book or start a small garden. I have a friend who will just put her hands in the soil of her potted plants when she’s stressed and she swears it helps.
We are a part of Nature. Sometimes, the most regulating thing we can do for our overworked, underappreciated parent selves is to just be outside.
I hope these rituals are helpful for you
Or at least an affirmation of what you already do. If you haven’t tried them yet, now is the time. 2025 is the year of the Healthy Mom for our community and we’re committed to supporting you the whole way through.
If there is something you’d like us to write about, please tell us in the comments! And don’t forget to join our Book of the Month club! This month we’re reading The Unwedding by Ally Condie and it is PHENOMENAL.
