No More 2020 Shaming And Blaming

2020 shaming

2020 shaming. How many times last year did you hear, or maybe even said, “ugh, 2020 strikes again!”

It is like we are shaming a year in our lives, in history. I get that years don’t have feelings, but we do and I think it may be harming ours, especially our mindset moving forward.

Don’t get me wrong, 2020 was a pretty *insert negative curse word of your choice here* year.

However it is not 2020’s fault.

The year didn’t create a world-wide pandemic, the Coronavirus did. 2020 didn’t create a polarizing, hate-filled, political climate. Social media and news outlets, white privilege, the government, years of changing culture that came to a climax this year, etc., created it. 2020 didn’t create murder hornets…ok I don’t know what freak of nature created murder hornets but you get the idea.

We got in the habit of blaming every negative thing that happened on 2020.

My kid fell off the trampoline and broke their elbow…2020 strikes again. I got a flat tire…of course I did, it’s 2020. Another fire right outside of town…what else is 2020 going to bring? The thing is, kids fall off trampolines and break something at alarming rates (seriously look it up there are more gravely disabled youth from trampolines every year than there are drowning deaths in this country.)

Cars get flat tires, cracked windshields, and need new brakes no matter what year it is. We live in SoCal and Santa Ana winds plus years of drought equals fires and with global warming it’s just getting worse every year.

Is it ok to say good riddance to 2020? Of course!

When we have had a hard time, it’s ok to say, “I’m leaving this in the past and tomorrow will be better.” So let’s all wave good-bye and have hope it’s getting better.

But let us also change our mindset about what we just left behind.

My concern is, if we blame everything on 2020, what happens when someone needs stitches, gets in a fender bender, or there is a mudslide in the Malibu Hills in 2021?

I don’t know if you noticed, but January 1st we didn’t walk outside to technicolor and Glenda the Good Witch singing surrounded by lollipops. COVID-19 didn’t magically disappear, Republicans and Democrats didn’t sing Kumbaya in the streets, and racism wasn’t eradicated.

…Sorry I got distracted by the vision of giant lollipops….

As I was saying…

What if we adopted the mindset that life happens instead of 2020 shaming. Some people have it better off than we do and some people have it worse off and we all have equal value and worth.

If you think about it, we are all walking down the path of our lives. Sometimes the road is smooth and flat, sometimes it’s uphill and bumpy. Sometimes life throws us a boulder we have to carry until we figure out how to set it aside. This past year was hard because there were boulders we couldn’t put down, so when we were thrown a rock like car trouble we had trouble juggling it all.

So let’s work on seeing ways to put down our rocks and boulders, to pave the road and to help each other along the way. This will make for a more peaceful household and life and we will handle new obstacles with more comfort and ease.

As parents and caregivers this is exceptionally important because our children (and sometimes our partners) look to us for direction. We model how to handle life’s challenges, how to be positive, and how to have strength and move forward.

Children are resilient, but it is our job to help them be resilient adults some day.

So let’s stop with the 2020 shaming and blaming. Here’s to a healthier and more peaceful year ahead!

No More 2020 Shaming And Blaming PIN

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I grew up in Orange County then went to Los Angeles (with a short detour in Santa Barbara) for college and spent the next 12 years there thinking that was home until I met my amazing, now husband on and moved back here to start our life together. I have a young son and daughter that are two years apart. They are thick as thieves and keep us laughing. I worked in Hospice care for 15 years and now I take Working Mom to a whole new dimension with a private mental health practice I worked hard with many jobs hustling for many years to grow my own business. I'm proud to say I'm helping people in my own office full time. The decision to quit my full time job working for some one else and to work towards creating much needed grief, trauma and self esteem support in Orange County fills my soul. I may not spend 24/7 with my kids but I plan to be role model to them and the time we have is all about quality not quantity. I'm working on a life/work balance but I find this is much easier when I love all aspects of my life and work and self.