Hey Ladies, Stop Hiding Your Awesomeness!

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awesomeness

I’m awesome, you are awesome. Some days are more awesome than ever.  See I said it and it wasn’t that hard. First off, I don’t want to get into a discussion about male vs. female. Like how when speaking their mind, men are called assertive while women doing the same are called moody. Don’t get me wrong. There is a discussion to be had there. But that is not the purpose of my post about awesomeness.

I want to talk about women, especially moms, and the topic of awesomeness.

I’ve been noticing a lot lately that the go-to reaction of women to their greatness is to hide it or down play it. And I think I know why. I’m going to tell you all my theory in hopes to start a change, because all this stifled female awesomeness is bumming me out.

From a young age we get these mixed messages.

Messages of encouragement, sure, but also sprinkled with doubt and don’ts.

 

The Doubts:

“Wow you kept up with all the boys in the race.”

“Slow down, walk like a lady.”

“Yum, these cookies are delicious but maybe only eat one.”

“You want to try out for the academic decathlon? It’s mainly boys you know.”

 

The Don’ts:

  • Don’t act better than someone else
  • Don’t brag
  • Don’t be conceited

 

These Doubts and Don’ts create scripts in our head that stifle our inner awesomeness.

Scripts that are often unnecessary, erroneous, and/or harmful. The scripts become our own personal self-doubt, our untruth.

“Maybe I’m not smart enough”

“I should try harder.”

“I should keep my opinions to myself.”

The self criticisms and judgement start to overshadow the greatness. Then we just don’t quite feel so awesome.

 

It gets worse when we become moms.

No one wants to be on either side of “mommy shaming,” so we often keep our mouths closed. We hide our triumphs and our struggles. And then we end up just hiding our awesomeness.

 

So here is the thing.

We want to be kind. We don’t need to boast at someone else’s expense. However, speak your truth mammas! You are awesome! Life is hard. Work is hard. Momming is hard. And you are doing it! Some days better than others but you are doing it. We all have things about us that make us awesome.

We all have inner superheroes.

But guess what? If you hide your awesomeness from everyone else you end up forgetting it yourself. 

Here is your awesomeness action item:

Take a quiet minute. Don’t laugh, I know you are moms, but find that quiet minute. In the car after drop off, in the bathroom when you manage to sneak in without anyone noticing. (Because if they notice then they will suddenly need ten things from you. You know what I mean.)

Look in a mirror and say,

“I am awesome, I deserve to be awesome.”

 

You might roll your eyes at first. But over time, you are going to believe and then show it to the world. I will see you, and I will smile.

 

awesomeness

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I grew up in Orange County then went to Los Angeles (with a short detour in Santa Barbara) for college and spent the next 12 years there thinking that was home until I met my amazing, now husband on Jdate.com and moved back here to start our life together. I have a young son and daughter that are two years apart. They are thick as thieves and keep us laughing. I worked in Hospice care for 15 years and now I take Working Mom to a whole new dimension with a private mental health practice www.melissafishergoldman.com. I worked hard with many jobs hustling for many years to grow my own business. I'm proud to say I'm helping people in my own office full time. The decision to quit my full time job working for some one else and to work towards creating much needed grief, trauma and self esteem support in Orange County fills my soul. I may not spend 24/7 with my kids but I plan to be role model to them and the time we have is all about quality not quantity. I'm working on a life/work balance but I find this is much easier when I love all aspects of my life and work and self.