This Is Why I Won’t Make My Kid Share

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won't make my kid shareYes, it’s true. I won’t make my kid share. Because she is two. And my middle is 6. And my oldest is 8. And sharing has taken on a whole new level of giving in these days.

Picture this….

You have cooked dinner, cleaned the kitchen, bathed the kids and tucked them in, finally folded the load of laundry lingering in the dryer that has been re-dried 3 times since Sunday, all after putting in an 8-hour day at your (other) full-time job.

You pour yourself a glass of wine or grab a pint of ice cream (or both) and head to the couch to zone out for 30 minutes with This is Us before bed.

Your husband, fresh out of the shower, sits next to you and asks for the remote.

The answer would be no. Absolutely not. (Well, unless of course he has planned a mom-cation for you that you leave for tomorrow in which case the answer, of course, is yes.) See my point?

Somehow, over the years, being polite has trumped doing the right thing.

Don’t get me wrong, there is a certainly a place for manners at a certain age, but not in place of support my toddler’s individual development.

Imagine your young child is at the sandbox at the neighborhood park and is finally getting into a groove with her shovel and bucket. She can’t really vocalize what creative idea is brewing in her head, but she is on to something. Maybe it’s that she just discovered the perfect combination of water to sand to make the perfect sand castle, or she counted higher than she ever has while counting her scoops. Then, a random child walks up and demands it is his turn with the shovel and bucket declaring loudly, “SHARE!”

She is really onto something and I am not about to break that up.

She needs more minutes. I respond, “She will share with you when she is finished.” (Yes, I said finished. Not in 2 minutes, not in 5. When she is finished.) I don’t expect my kids to share on a declaration from a stranger, nor a declaration of a sibling.

I do, however, expect them to be compassionate and acknowledge the verbalized desire of their peer.

When they finish with what they are playing with, they know to walk it to the person waiting and give the item over with a “Thank you for waiting.”

It helps my children to be appreciative when they are the ones that have to wait, and gives a nod to the child for practicing patience. Often times, as siblings, they figure out ways for them to all play together because they realize that waiting for their turn is the hardest part.

So don’t expect me to make my kids to share. They will share when their breakthrough is behind them. But, I won’t expect your kids to share either, so please don’t make them.

 

won't make my kid share

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Erin is a fresh transplant to Orange County from Richmond, VA as of January 1, 2019! She and her husband, Rick, married in 2008 on the same beach where they fell in love on Virginia's Eastern Shore. They are thrilled to have settled into the Laguna Niguel area with their three wild children, ages 8, 6 and 2 and less than 5 miles from the coast. Erin works full-time as the director of a preschool, where she has the opportunity to make an impact and encourage the future of tomorrow to grow in every way, all while having fun! A self-proclaimed eternal optimist, she and her family enjoy living life and turning everything into an adventure. She loves trips to Target (alone at 8 am), iced coffee, baking, cheering for her VCU Rams, staying healthy, fresh air and introducing her kids to real music. Keep up with Erin on Instagram @therealricelife