Let me clarify that I do in fact know that my child is human. It’s not that I suddenly woke up one day thinking I was raising a small puppy only to find a human child at my table.
No, this is more of a realization that your child will make mistakes and they will make big ones and thus, they are human. They are flawed. Just like every other person.
Last week was a rough week for me and my child as we were navigating virtual school. I don’t want to get into the details as my son at some point will grow up and I’d like to keep some things private, but let’s just say he made some very big errors in judgment. After the teacher alerted me to this, I was not only upset with him, but I was also upset with myself.
I should have been paying more attention. I was embarrassed that I had let things fall through the cracks.
But to be honest, I was working from home and trying to keep another younger child in his class and my oldest son has always been on top of his schooling so I didn’t even think to watch him like a hawk. The thought didn’t even cross my mind.
And so, when this blunder occurred, I was forced to recognize that my child is human. He didn’t escape being flawed, he isn’t perfect, he did make a big error in judgment, he did lose my trust.
He’s human. It was bound to happen. And how I react to his humanness will shape him.
I was given the choice of making him feel like a good for nothing piece of trash OR I could show him love.
Now, he definitely did get punished, there’s no getting around that. Actions have consequences. But I did my very best to make sure he understood that while I was very disappointed – nothing he could ever do would change how much I love him.
We are working through the consequences of his decisions, and it’s hard. It would have been easier for me to simply say oh well, forget it and not make him take responsibility. But I know that my job as a parent is to raise someone who understands when they make a mistake, takes ownership, and then works to right the wrong.
So, if you have come into a situation where you have found out your child is human – let me tell you that it’s okay. We ALL are human. They will disappoint us. But those disappointments won’t define them.