My grandmother recently started a debate over whether stay at home moms or working moms have it harder. My 82-year-old grandmother who raised three boys and a girl thought that staying at home was much more difficult.
As the debate got a little heated, she pointed out that she had done both. Another family member who is a working mom stated that she felt that working moms have it harder because all of the stuff at home still has to get done after you work.
I, on the other hand, did not take sides but made the point that it is all relative.
Being a working mom myself, I have contemplated this concept a lot before my daughter was in school. I would feel sorry for myself and wish I could be at home with my child, instead of working. I thought about how the grass is greener on the other side. Also, listening to stay at home moms talking about setting up play dates, made me feel like I am missing out. Not only with precious time with my child, but being able to spend time with other moms. I would also often think, “If only I could stay at home, I would not have so much stress”.
With that said, I know that staying home can be difficult too.
I have met moms who don’t get a break. They are at home all day, and then they have to do the nightly routine too. They have to be intentional with meeting other grown-ups. There are stay at home moms who have difficulty getting all the chores done because their children are more demanding.
Every child’s personality is different. Some need more of your attention than others. If you are not looking for one second, they will destroy something or get into something they are not supposed to. This can be really hard when you are at home all day with them. If you also add a child with special needs, it increases the level of stress of the daily demands, such as therapy sessions.
On the flip side, the one major plus of a stay at home mom is being with your kids, and the negative side of working is not being with your kids!
Stay at home moms don’t have to hire someone to take care of them. You get to be with them, so you know that they are getting quality care. When you are a working mom, trusting someone with your kids is huge. You really have to do your research and talk to other families. There are so many good childcare centers, and then there are the not so great! I, unfortunately, had the not so great one, where I got a call from social services stating they were shutting down the in-home childcare. I saw some subtle red flags, but it did not come together until after the fact. After that experience, I actually had an amazing person taking care of my child. Finding someone to take care of your child just as you would want, is so important.
If you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, there are always chores to do. Working moms have to work all day and come home to chores. Stay at home moms are in the mess all day having to constantly clean up because their little ones are home. Getting all of the laundry and chores done can be overwhelming when it all adds up.
This can be difficult for both types of moms.
Every mom has their own hand they have been dealt, as well as their own support system. Whether it is staying at home or working because you have to or by choice, everyone deals with things differently. Everyone’s situation is different. Not one family is the same. Every family has their own little or big personalities. What is important is making it work in your family.
Being the best stay at home mom with your own gifts and talents, and being the best working mom with your own gifts and talents.
Trying to make the best of your situation is important, whether it is by choice or because it is what you need to do for your family.
It is important to live each day knowing that you did your best as a mom.