I Am Not A Superhero



I am not a superhero.

I’m not a super mom, a super wife, or a super worker.

I know, I know you are shocked (read sarcasm).

So maybe I outed myself to something you already knew. However, I certainly needed the reminder. These days I’m feeling a little less than, well perfect.  I don’t strive for perfection, I learned that lesson a long time ago. However, I do strive to always do my best, and lately, I’ve been a little disappointed with my best.

My goal right now is to improve my life/work balance.  Can any of you relate? I’m not quite sure why this seems to be getting harder and harder as my son gets older.  I guess I thought I would have it figured out by now (insert laughter).

Moms if you did have a super power what would it be?

Me? Well thanks for asking, today it would be pausing time or adding more hours to the day.  Pretty great idea right?! Unfortunately, I can’t do that, bummer. So the way I see it I have a few options. I can continue the way I have been going and be in a constant state of low-level anxiety (no thank you!). The better option, accept that I can’t do everything.  Better option, learn to say no and prioritize! Wow, that sounds easy…hmm…why didn’t I think of that sooner? I know the answer, I know how to do it, I just need to…well…do it.

I gave up having ridiculously high expectations of myself.

If my house isn’t clean, oh well. If my kid goes to bed without a bath, oh well. It’s not that I am that hard on myself…well wait maybe it is.  Let’s talk about this.  I have three jobs and a few other activities (including this blog, helping start a non-profit, oh and being a mom, wife, and daughter in the mix).

My family is loved and fed, my mortgage is paid.  In fact, most of my jobs are thriving and growing, I have a vision of a more successful future with financial freedom and freedom of time, and it seems possible.  Wait, do I actually got this?! Then whats my problem?

My problem is I am in my head, being negative and beating myself up. Because, as previously stated, I’m human, not superhuman or a superhero. So my kid’s party was 3 months ago and I’m not done with thank you notes. I am behind on writing blog posts. I’m tired and want to rest all the time. Does any of this sound like I’m a horrible person? Of course not. However, I’m sure treating myself like I am.

I’ve been saying for days I need a rest, I’m not handling this work life balance well, I’m failing.

None of which is true (except maybe the rest part). So here is my new plan – first rest, second CHANGE MY THINKING. I am going to tell myself I’m doing pretty damn great! Life is hard. Being a mom is hard. Managing a schedule is hard.

I can do hard. I can do this.

As a matter of fact, I am doing this.   I am a great therapist. I am doing great at my health and wellness business, helping women find a way to support their families while having more time for them. I’m a good, maybe great mom and wife and daughter. I’m figuring out how to balance everything and create the life I want for myself and my family.

Wow all it took was saying it out loud, or typing it out loud and I figured it out. I’m not a superhero but I am successful.  I love my life. I need to be kinder to myself.  Of course, I’m tired.  Of course I can’t do everything.  I’m doing enough. I am enough.

Good talk…thanks 🙂

I am not a superhero

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I grew up in Orange County then went to Los Angeles (with a short detour in Santa Barbara) for college and spent the next 12 years there thinking that was home until I met my amazing, now husband on Jdate.com and moved back here to start our life together. I have a young son and daughter that are two years apart. They are thick as thieves and keep us laughing. I worked in Hospice care for 15 years and now I take Working Mom to a whole new dimension with a private mental health practice www.melissafishergoldman.com. I worked hard with many jobs hustling for many years to grow my own business. I'm proud to say I'm helping people in my own office full time. The decision to quit my full time job working for some one else and to work towards creating much needed grief, trauma and self esteem support in Orange County fills my soul. I may not spend 24/7 with my kids but I plan to be role model to them and the time we have is all about quality not quantity. I'm working on a life/work balance but I find this is much easier when I love all aspects of my life and work and self.