A Love Letter To My Husband For Father’s Day

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a letter to my husband for father's day

I’m not sure why but coming up with a Father’s Day related post was hard for me.  

I have fond memories of Father’s Day and a very close relationship with my Dad but I had no ideas of what to write.  I started to “interview” my husband about his experiences with Father’s Day growing up because I knew his experiences were very different than mine.  I thought I bet there is a post in there…I was wrong.  It was a bust.  He had little to no memories and no emotions to share, it just wasn’t a big deal to him I guess.

So then, I asked him what Father’s Day meant to him now that he was a father.  He said he felt proud.

“I don’t necessarily feel proud of myself, well maybe when I think of where I was and where I am now.”

(he was nervous about being a dad, and what kind of dad he wanted to be and he worked hard to be confident that he was ready and willing. He took the initiative to talk to a professional about his hang-ups and his past.  He is open and proud of this so he won’t mind me telling all of you.) Then he said,

“I’m proud of our relationship, I’m proud of our son and that I was part of making him. I don’t think I’m special, or an amazing dad, or doing anything new that other fathers don’t do.”

And there my friends…I had my post…and here it is.

Dear Jonathan,

Your words about being a dad and a husband touched me more than you know.  Not because they were kind and loving but actually, because I think you were wrong.

You are special, you are amazing and you are unique in your parenting and in your role as a husband.  

Let me explain to you why.  The fact that you don’t see what you do or feel, as amazing is exactly the thing that makes you amazing. The fact that because it has come so naturally to you, and you don’t even comprehend that it may not be the norm, is, in fact, amazing and special.

You take hands-on dad to a whole new level. I think the hands-on dad approach is becoming more common with our generation but it is still special and something to celebrate.  I know sometimes I give you a hard time when you say you will “watch” or “babysit” when it is parenting, but that is just semantics.  

I know I tease you that you often find friends or grandparents to hang out with when you are on “baby duty” but deep down I know this is because you enjoy the interaction as the extrovert you are and not because you lack confidence or want to pass on the duties of parenting to someone else.

In actuality, I believe the contrary.  I believe you are one of the most competent and natural parents I have ever seen.  You jumped right into being a dad when our boy was just a zygote and you have been like a fish to water ever since.  What makes you amazing is that you have no idea how amazing you are.  

And frankly, your humility as a parent is…well…quite sexy.

You seek out opportunities to spend time with our son and with me.  You have never shied away from taking on a primary parenting role if I was working or unavailable.  You love the bath time and bedtime routine.  You jump up in the morning no matter how much you would like to sleep in.  You take the initiative to sit next to our son at a restaurant and “handle” the process.  You jump into boundary setting and discipline with love and eagerness because you want our son to be well rounded and safe. You change diapers with precision and never a complaint.  I could go on and on.

When I think about the list above and your words that you don’t think you are amazing, I am astounded. You are an amazing dad and an amazing husband.  We are so lucky and now our son is so lucky because he has parents that have a deep love affair and respect for each other. I have always said that parenting doesn’t come with a handbook but as long as you have love and the best intentions you are ahead of the game.  But you husband, you bring something extra to the table…a huge amount of enthusiasm and willingness.  So all I can say is thank you.

I’m glad you are proud of the process and proud of the beautiful child we created, but please be proud of yourself as a husband, as a father, as a person.  I know I am.

Happy 2nd Father’s Day to you.

All my Love,

Melissa

A Love Letter To My Husband For Father's Day

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I grew up in Orange County then went to Los Angeles (with a short detour in Santa Barbara) for college and spent the next 12 years there thinking that was home until I met my amazing, now husband on Jdate.com and moved back here to start our life together. I have a young son and daughter that are two years apart. They are thick as thieves and keep us laughing. I worked in Hospice care for 15 years and now I take Working Mom to a whole new dimension with a private mental health practice www.melissafishergoldman.com. I worked hard with many jobs hustling for many years to grow my own business. I'm proud to say I'm helping people in my own office full time. The decision to quit my full time job working for some one else and to work towards creating much needed grief, trauma and self esteem support in Orange County fills my soul. I may not spend 24/7 with my kids but I plan to be role model to them and the time we have is all about quality not quantity. I'm working on a life/work balance but I find this is much easier when I love all aspects of my life and work and self.

4 COMMENTS

  1. What a beautiful story. I am sitting here with tears running down my cheek. What a wonderful post and I know it came from your heart. You are a very special couple and even more special parents.

  2. Melissa,
    My husband and I are high school friends of Faith’s. Your tribute to your husband for Father’s Day brought me to tears. It is a special gift to have a relationship like yours. As you know, the best gift that parents can give to their children is to love and respect each other.
    Nancy Hayden

  3. Dear Melissa:
    What a beautiful Father’s Day gift you have given to Jon. So often we don’t say what needs to be said, and you said it so beautifully. Yesterday, at Eliana and Jeff’s house I shared the fact that somehow Haim knew that Noah was on the way and you gave him his farewell gift of becoming a surrogate Saba and so I thank you both for that. I know that you made him very happy.
    Love you guys.
    Elaine

  4. WOW! What lovely words to write and how wonderful to know there are still people in this world that feel so deeply about life. I read this story with happy tears, pride and awe.
    Jonathan is all that you said, but you did forget what a warm, loving son-in-law he is too.
    How proud and blessed we are to be your parents and darling Noah’s grandparents.
    With love,
    Grammie Micki & Papa Michael

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