Ask Cher: Fire Alarm Is Scaring the Kids

We had a weird situation with a fire alarm that kept going off in our house and it really freaked out my kids (2 and 4-year-olds) as it went off randomly and sometimes in the middle of the night. I don’t think they can understand the situation and my oldest still keeps talking about it even weeks after the last time. How do I help them feel safe again?

Dear Exhausted Mom,

Unexpected loud noises, especially in the middle of the night, can really throw young children off balance. For little ones, this kind of experience can be confusing and even a bit scary. Here’s how you can help them feel safe again:

1. Normalize and Validate: Let them know it’s totally okay to feel scared when they hear loud noises like that. Explain that sometimes things like fire alarms go off to keep us safe by alerting us, even if it’s a bit surprising or noisy.
2. Create a Story: Turn it into a story they can understand and relate to, like a “silly” fire alarm that wanted to get our attention by saying hello but it got a bit too excited. Stories can help kids feel like they have control over the memory and make it feel less intimidating.
3. Practice Calm Routines: Encourage deep breaths or cuddles to calm down whenever they mention it. You could even create a “fire alarm dance” or song to give them a playful way to process the experience, reminding them that their home is still safe.
4. Provide Reassurance: Reassure them that the fire alarm was just checking to make sure everything was safe, and you are here to keep them safe too. It’s also helpful to show them that the alarm is back to normal now.

The same strategies can be used in any situation such as a car or bike accident or dog bite, for example.

With time and reassurance, they’ll begin to feel safe again, and the alarm memory will fade. Just keep things simple and as calm as possible!