Silence. And then, “Did you know that there’s two?!” The moment that will be forever etched in my memory at what was to be my first of many ultrasounds during my pregnancy. All at once my husband and I were overcome with shock, joy, and lots of laughter (mostly on my part, for some reason I thought expecting twins was hysterical)! Fast forward 6 months later and I was not laughing near as much as we were thrown right into parenting twins with two newborn bundles of joy + colic! Now that these two little girls are soon to be six, I have had some time to reflect on my experience raising twins thus far and I must say, it has certainly been a roller coaster.
When I meet people for the first time and we get on the topic of raising twins, most will ask me how my husband and I survived the newborn stage and first year.
Well the truth of the matter is that, while there were certainly many sleepless nights, crying fits, spit up, throw up (soooo much throw up), and life adjusting – it was actually a time in my life that I look back on fondly. Those little squishy babies wanted nothing but my love and attention and my only job at the time was to give it to them.
The problem was, those squishy baby years just FLEW by!
Before I knew it, I kid you not, they were three. I remember the night before their 3rd birthday so clearly, I cried in bed for hours. After thinking a while about what the exact source of sadness was, I came to this startling revelation:
The hard part of raising twins was not in that first year as so many others had tried to prepare me for.
You see, my husband and I had only planned on having two children, and when we found out we would be having twins we thought “cool, we will only have to go through all of this once.” And while the idea sounded phenomenal at the time, as I laid in bed crying I was faced with the hard truth.
Going through it all only once was not such a cool thing after all.
That growing bump, those kicks from inside, listening to those heartbeats and seeing those tiny babes take form on the computer screen.
That stage of expecting twins was over before I even realized how much of a miracle it truly was.
Those teeny tiny baby fingers and toes, those sweet newborn yawns, and those pocket sized dolls that could fit right onto my chest. They morphed into walking, talking little girls before I could even appreciate those little details with my sleep deprived mind.
That first birthday party, that joyous celebration where all our family gathered to congratulate us on making it through the first year, that day when those chubby cheeks were covered in cake icing for the first (but certainly not the last) time.
There will never be another one.
Those first wobbly steps followed by shrieks of laughter. I wish I had realized at the time to etch the moment into my memory because those would be the last first steps that I would see. And, well, the list goes on.
With each beautiful milestone comes that teeny moment of wishing we could go through the same joyous occasions again in the future.
Now, if you are starting to think that I am this ungrateful mom who should just revel in the fact that I am blessed with two thriving girls – let me assure you that I remind myself daily of our blessings.
We live a beautiful – albeit messy and chaotic – life and these two girls have become the center of that.
This is just basically me saying…wow, I did not see these emotions coming.
I did not expect that longing and that sadness to creep up on me and stick with me in what I feel like is the hardest part of having twins.
So here is my message to all the mamas out there, a message that I try abide by daily, even on the hard days. I am not perfect and there are certainly times when I don’t follow my own advice, but my message and my mission as a mom remains the same:
Soak in the moments.
Take mental snapshots as opposed to constantly being attached to the camera.
Hug your babies tight.
Hold those babes as long as you can, and when you can’t anymore, let them crawl up into your lap.
Look at their face, and really focus on the beauty of every tiny detail. Hold their hand. Go on adventures as a family. Live and celebrate the gift of life, for yourself and for your babies.
These children grow up way too fast.
Let all of us moms – whether you’re a mom raising twins, soon-to-be-mom expecting twins, or mom of non-multiples – cherish their growth but also all those moments along the way!
